This is from 3.5 years ago and something that still speaks to me. We can all sell our souls for some price and trust me, just thinking of it in that way will hopefully make you a little more aware to all of the "buyers" in the market.
Maybe I will do something lighter next time-
I love books. However, my love is often only for the ones that you can pick up and finish in two days. My attention span is short; if it is not captured in the first chapter the book will go directly to sitting on my night stand with the large collection of “Page 20 somethings.” These are the books that I attempted to get into but stopped reading due to lack of charm, interest, etc. I usually have about five sitting on the stand at a time, secretly hoping that I will one day make it past the first 20 pages. A few of the current Page 20 Somethings include: The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (700 pages and written in the late 1700s…”gripping” isn’t necessarily the first word that comes to mind), When the Fairy Dust Settles (part of a book club at this time), and The Marshall Plan (a friend wrote this one).
Let me get to the book for which this title is dedicated. The book is called
“Redeeming Love” by Francine Collins. I am sure that many of you have heard of it and possibly even read it. I started it at 11pm on Saturday night and finished by Monday morning. If it wasn’t for the fact that I am not that charming on less than six hours of sleep, I would have finished it all the first night.
I am not too sure how to even start the write up because I am still sorting through all of the emotion that I felt by just turning page after page. I hope none of us ever have to experience the heartache necessary to find God’s love that was portrayed so vividly in this book.
Quick summation: Angel was a young girl sold into prostitution after her mother died (her mother was a prostitute as well). She was so hardened that she never cried or even tried to escape. In fact, she often went back to this way of life because it was all that she had known. She was only aware of a place where love was evil and feelings were meant to never be discussed or better yet, felt. The book is modeled after the Bible book, Hosea, in which Hosea is told to marry a prostitute (and keep going back and rescuing her). The man in the book is told by God to go into the brothel and take her out and marry her. He is a strong Christian man and spent years with her rescuing her from the depravity she was drawn back to.
I thought when I started reading this book that I would sympathize with the man, who was always trying to remove someone from all of the hurt of the world (women are fixers). Instead, my heart actually felt what this girl was going through. Oddly, she was a prostitute sold into the industry at the age of eight and had endured her every bone being sold at the cost and pleasure another. And I felt what she felt: to the very core of my being.
I am not a prostitute/harlot/hooker/etc., but I know what it is like to sell myself at the cost of my invaluable dignity.
We have all been a harlot to this world. We have all sold ourselves for some price at the cost of our very soul; hopefully not at the cost of physical abuse and torment at the same time. We all seem to forget that the devil does not walk around with horns on his head, cackling, and leading us into places that are on fire and marked by eternal darkness. He attracts us with shopping malls, lust (at the time the thoughts might include “what does one night matter?”), colorful magazines that not only purchase our thoughts but turn them around into an arsenal for the devil (sex is on at least 9 out of 10 of the covers of the top magazines), and wealth. Wealth will purchase a soul better than all of the others combined. How many happy people have you seen who have had a ton of plastic surgery or what about those driving the new BMW 7 series/Range Rover/etc.? Seriously, go do your own analysis on that one. The price is way too high.
Where in all of this are we able to keep a pure heart without growing hardened to everyone around us? Where do we gain discretion, wisdom, morale, and standards if that is the last thing that the world has to offer? In fact, the world mocks those attributes more than it frowns upon STDs, open sex and divorce. I have met many people that have spent years figuring it out on their own and they are still searching, still wanting, still desiring something that they know their soul is yearning for. A seemingly insatiable desire...
The closer I draw to God, the more I realize that He is the ONLY one that can buy us back from this world. I honestly have no idea how people who do not believe in God make it through this world…I consider myself to be personable, determined, independent, etc., and with all of those attributes I couldn’t imagine a world without Him. I don’t go to this world for support because it has never filled me. I can to Forever 21 everyday of my life and will still come home and want more-not because there is anything new but because I was not fulfilled. I can travel the world and experience everything other cultures have to offer and I can still come home and feel alone in my own home.
{*Inserted today: I spent years seeking after men just to have affirmation from a man. Fortunately, by God's grace, I didn't have a million pursuers and I had to deal more readily with the rejection (which I now consider God's ABUNDANT GRACE-look at my husband :)) than I did with figuring out who to date. I sold myself and often would drink to gain courage just to find myself trying to gain attention from someone in a way that my heart didn't even desire. I put my soul on the market. Fortunately, God pulled it off a few years ago and my ENTIRE life changed. God became my redeemer, not some man. And through Him being my redeemer, I met the most beautiful, handsome, intelligent, gracious, tender man I have ever, will ever, know.}
I am a harlot (in regards to selling my soul), bought only by Jesus’ death on the cross. The only way he could rescue any of us was to offer 100% forgiveness…99% would leave way too much left to apologize about on a daily basis. I was bought by the blood of Jesus on the cross and I will never understand why He thought I was worth it.
Remaining in wonder I will attempt to live my life knowing that I must honor someone who loves me at the cost of His own life.
