Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Love Letter to the Ladies

Dear lovelies:


This is my love letter to all of you. I want and know in my heart that some of you need to hear part of my story.  It is not one of tragedy by any stretch but it is laced with choices that were not wise and were compounded with an insatiable desire to be known.

If you are woman, you know what I am talking about.

We all want to be known.  And sadly, nearly all of us at one point were/are willing to do just about anything to be known, if even being "known"is only for a few minutes, hours, days, etc.  I had that desire from the time I was about 17 to about 27-a decade of my life filled with my soul on the altar of being desired.

Some of my dearest friends know some of my stories.  I won't go into a ton of detail but let's just say there were many nights where I don't remember how I got to where I was, many mornings where I didn't know who I had hung out with the night before, YEARS of staring at my phone/computer waiting for one person or another to call/text/etc/acknowledge me, times of driving under the influence that I don't even remember, etc.

I was telling one of my amazing girlfriends some of these stories.  She has a crazy story and a ton of brokenness from her father and her life growing up.  We were talking about how I felt like I had a hedge of protection around me for all those years.  Because, the interesting thing about my story is: that I somehow remained a virgin until I was married (any of my friends who were with me during this period of time would say aside from the mighty hand of God that would've been impossible-I mean IMPOSSIBLE), never got arrested, never got pursued by the men that I wanted to be pursued by (until my husband), and literally made it through ten straining years somewhat unscathed.

This same girlfriend recently went through a crazy experience where someone she knew ended up taking their own life and all of this stuff came out after (laden with nothing good: I mean affairs, multiple partners within two marriages, affairs with men/women, etc). She could never figure out why this one particular guy would never really pursue her, especially physically. He pursued everyone else and seemed to always keep her at arms distance in a quite respectful way. And trust me, this friend of mine is drop-dead-gorgeous and she could literally get asked out ten times a day.

It was after she was telling me this whilst sitting on my couch that she with tears said, "I know now exactly what you were talking about when you said there was a hedge of protection around you. Could you have imagined my life if I would've gotten involved with him?"

So please-I write you because I don't want ANY of you to pine after someone/something that God did not intend for you.  It will destroy you in many instances and you will be left striving for your value not from your Maker but from another broken person.  You will forget, quite easily, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Satan tends to be an expert at telling lies regarding such.

Stop waiting for that boy to text or call.  Stop trying to get drunk just to get the nerves to act a little bit "looser" so maybe more boys will pay attention.  Stop saying to yourself, "if just this guy liked me."

I did all of this. This is from my heart.

And start living. Pick up a Bible and learn who Jesus is and why you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Volunteer.  A lot (one of the best seasons of my life).  Serve others.  Really start thinking about the purpose for this life and realize in that, who God made you to be and how much you are cherished.

And don't be me in the "lost" decade.  God had SO MUCH GRACE on me and not only did I get an amazing husband, I also got a beautiful daughter who's soul just delights anyone around her.  My heart also can now soar because, "she who has been forgiven much, loves much."  And because I know that grace was poured out on me, it helps me to realize the beauty of what can be and what often really is all around us.

So again, please don't use alcohol to lose yourself (because yourself is pretty awesome), please don't throw yourself at boys because I promise you...only ONE is worth your heart and I doubt it is the same one you will throw yourself at, and please, don't have a lost decade like I did.

I love you.  I really do.  And if you are local-I like coffee dates and hearing peoples' stories.  My schedule is just a little cray-cray these days :)

Love, Anna N

Oh, and here is a post from awhile ago on "waiting."






17 comments:

  1. Anna,
    I'm a fellow Solid Rocker and I came across your blog awhile ago through another SR member. I absolutely adore you and your little family. Your words of wisdom are SO meaningful and I find myself coming back for more and more pieces of wisdom! This post could not have come at more of a perfect time (God's timing is incredible). I needed to hear these words, the way they were written, and I needed to hear them this week. Thank you SO much for sharing your wisdom-it means so much!

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    1. Amy,

      Thank you for your sweet words. I share things that I have learned-at times at a cost but so incredible thankful for His grace. I have soooooooo much to learn. So glad this encouraged you :)

      Love, Anna

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  2. Anna Banana!

    Thanks for the story. Wish I could have hung out with you during that time to remind you that you are so special. But sounds like you know how to pick yourself right up through recognizing His grace and the power of His love. You are so very special and dear. I think fondly of our youth together and (happy belated birthday to Lynda Mom)what joy it brought me. God is amazing. He has an amazing sense of humor and His plan is perfect...though hard to see at times, it is only when we look back we are humbled by how much He loves us. Unanswered prayers are sometimes the best blessings. His quietness through difficult times His greatest teachings. The road less travelled to His broad spanse our reward through our pain and suffering, because He first led the way. Continue to write as your words go not unheard (or read in this case) and remember that many prayers are headed your family's way...even all the way from Yuba City!

    Love,
    Lauren

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  3. Anna,

    Thank you for this...It makes me think of Matthew 7:24-27. I am sure God would love to tell all of us going through hard times something like this, if only we would listen (and your right, we need to open the Bible more...at least I do):

    My dearest child,

    You are so special to me…a one of a kind and none do I compare you to. Because you love me and my son, you have built an eternal foundation to our lasting relationship. It is a bond; a promise to you that I will never cease my love and yearning fondness over you. I am the rock upon which this foundation sits. I will never change and my love for you is unfailing, everlasting and uncontested.

    While you live on this earth, you will face trials and tribulations, but trust in me always - both in the soft calm that awakens with morning dew, and during the torrential storms that cause nature to flight. Remember, no matter the forecast, never will there be a day, a minute, or even a second that will out-weather our relationship.

    I promise you this; that as long as you continue to seek my face, whatever test to most may seem unbearable and severe, it will be a blessing for you when looked back upon – a life lesson and trivial in comparison to those who know not my son; like the nuisance of patching a small hole in a wall or changing a light bulb.

    Continue to honor me in all that you do, and stand firm and steadfast in your faith, for many will try to rob you of this, like a thief in the night. But also, many will see your light and warmth and desire to know how you have endured such afflictions and continue to have a soft heart and a welcoming smile. To which you will shine like a beacon, a light house directing the way to safety in my son, your savior, Jesus Christ.

    When your tasks I have set forth on earth are accomplished, and I have chosen for you to come home, my face you shall see, brighter and clearer than the most miraculous morning suns. Our relationship shall be so intimate that not even the heavenly and beautifully colored and awesome storms, in which too you will take delight, shall tarnish the pristine stained-glass of the mansion I have prepared for you in Heaven.

    I love you so much and I delight in watching you grow in me. Never far will I be, and talking to you always shall I be doing.

    Love,
    Your Daddy

    I need to remember this. Thank you for being an inspiration to me and many others. Love you always, Anna-Banana! Tell Lynda Mom, Arthur (AKA Ralph) and Meggie hello for me.

    Love,
    Lauren

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    1. Oh, lauren...I miss you so!!!!!!!!!! That was so encouraging to me-I think the thing I struggle with most is keeping a strong faith in the midst of the storm and this was exactly what I needed to see :) You are such a delight and pure joy :) remember our shared birthday party in the 8th grade?!?!?! Love you tons- I will give my love to my amazing family. Please tell yours hello, too!

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  4. this.was.beautiful.

    thanks for sharing your heart Anna! You always encourage me so. I wish I lived in the portland area so i could grab coffee with you.

    so thankful for our Father's heart and protection!
    love katie

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  5. Oh Sweet Anna. I have never heard this part of your story before. I shared this post on FB. Single girls need to know they're worth waiting for. And that the right man is worth waiting for as well. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. You are such a life-giving friend and incredible woman.

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  6. Beautiful & inspiring truth right there. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  7. Hi Anna,

    This is a very relevant piece, I can definitely relate with this. In that moment, you almost become slave to the person you pine after, willing and able to do anything to get their attention. It’s so much work! and really doesn’t feel good, especially because the feeling usually isn’t reciprocated.

    As someone who is still single, I still get times like these but I have learned/am learning to shut myself down whenever I see the signs and force myself to get all the love I need from God (by going back to His word and reading about how He feels about me). I meditate on how amazing God is compared to any man. Even when I get married, I don’t want to idolise my husband so I’m mastering the art of God being my Number 1 now.

    I definitely know about the hedge of protection and am so grateful for it! Now I know Christ, I don’t want to take His grace for granted.

    Shakirat xxx

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  8. Girl, you have no idea how many hearts you are changing with your words. Thank you so much for being so honest. Anna, you are such a beautiful light in this world.

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  9. Girl, you have no idea how many hearts you are changing with your words. Thank you so much for being so honest. Anna, you are such a beautiful light in this world.

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  10. thank you for this post!!! so hits home....

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  12. Hello Anna! Thank you for this lovely post and reminder to us single women. I love reading your blog and all the honesty that you pour into it. Since you put it out there...As a fellow Solid Rocker and a 26 year old that is trying to obediently follow the Lord... I would love to get coffee with you if you ever have the time. :) Many blessings- Another Anna

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    1. Anna! I would lOVE to get coffee :) Email me: sotrulylovely@gmail.com

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  13. Hey Anna! I recently came across your blog through the Good Women Project and I have been so encouraged by it! I'm 21 and a fresh college graduate and have yet to date anyone. All of my best friends seem to be getting married and this season of life has been just plain HARD. But your story has blessed me so much. Thank you for sharing :o)

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    1. You are so sweet! I am so thankful it encouraged you- please believe that there is so much to life and that honestly, you are living in some of the best years that I had. Yes, other people are getting married at your age but God has left this period in your life open for so many amazing things. Go find them!!!
      Love, Anna

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Thanks for stopping by! xoxo, A momma and her baby (babies!)