I've missed the One.

Kind of a rough season. Not because I am not blessed.  Mainly because I am not thankful enough that I am blessed. Always a head game with us ladies.

I miss my time with Jesus. Even for those of you who don't personally have a relationship with Him, you can imagine that the Jesus of the Bible is someone really cool to know and be loved by (even if you don't like some of his claim-to-be followers)(oh, and you are deeply loved by Him).  I truly had such a sweet/redeeming/all-encompassing relationship with God for a few years.  It was my foundation. It drove me to volunteer, to give freely, to love at all hours, to return phone calls and prayer requests at any time, to pay for people's rent, to keep my heart and wallet and most importantly, my time, open to anyone Jesus put in my path.

Because truly, that is what and who a Jesus follower is: one who will answer God's call at ANY second.  Anywhere, anytime, anyone.

I had the time of my life spending hours upon hours with my Little. She has changed my life. Like no one else. I dream of being like her. And she is 17. And I met her because I was following Jesus and he truly led me to that organization and then gave me her to be one of my dearest and most admired friends for my whole life. We have known each for almost five years!  And she is now the most servant-hearted girl I know. It puzzles her deeply that more high schoolers do not want to serve others.

Read more about/and from her, here

All because-I was available to whatever Jesus had for me.

And then he led me to volunteer with Children's Cancer Association. I met an amazing young girl named Caitlyn and spent time with her until her cancer went into remission (sadly it is back again-for the 4th time). After her I was partnered with a spunky life-giver, Lesly.  

Because-I was available to whatever Jesus had for me.

Lesly stole my heart. We spent a year together: having sleepovers (both of the Lesleys), taking her school shopping, going to the movies and dancing like we were crazy girls up and down the aisles, reading Narnia to her when she was on morphine, having her call me "Ginormica" from Monsters versus Aliens (she swore I looked like the girl in it-I just needed the shiny black unitard), visiting her in the hospital during chemo rounds, hanging out with her parents and watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua, doing anything and everything with the color pink, going on long drives so she could rock out to Miley Cyrus, taking her to OMSI, pushing her around her neighborhood in her wheelchair, and crying when she would yell at me because she was so worn out from it all.  She became one of my dearest friends. She was 9. 

And my heart tore, was broken, and felt pulled out when she passed away 2.5 years ago.  

Because-I was available to whatever Jesus had for me.

I MISS this.  I don't even know how to get back there. Life is so different now and I so want my daughter to know her mother as one who was always serving and loving others. But I need Jesus to do any of this. And I miss Him. I miss Him more than I miss my time with my husband.  This has been such a hard season, exacerbated by lack of sleep, but essentially driven by my lack of time to know God's heart for my life and for others.

So pray for me friends. I need a refueling by my Maker. The only one who we can truly serve with our whole lives: and in giving him everything, we get a life to the n-th degree.

I am missing the "n-th." And I have known it-it is insanely beyond awesome.

Love, Anna N

To be love.

Oh the cost of love. It is beautiful but at its best and in its absolute most-inclusive definition, it is sacrifice. It is step-over-yourself, give yourself entirely, and then be willing to give a little bit more.  It is Jesus. It is how as a mom I have the smallest glimpse into what it must have been for Him to say that we were all worth His death (even though he was blameless...alas, I am soooooooSOOOOO not).

It's Jesus' last words on the cross, "'Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.' When he had said that, he breathed his last." Luke 23:46

I have been awful at giving up every last ounce of myself like Jesus did.  Especially without complaining.  It is a struggle to everyday choose to put another above myself, even my very own daughter. I get impatient, upset (she is a very, very strong little girl), worn-out/exhausted, and yet I know that children are a joy from the LORD and He knows I am the best mother for her.

It is still hard.  Our little girl has had a cold for two weeks, then a fever started yesterday, she awoke screaming in the middle of the night with her body going into convulsions every five seconds, we rushed her to the ER, found out she was okay (just a body's response to fever), found out she had an ear infection (took her in Monday thinking she had one but it was yet to come), then got her home and back in bed at 4am. Oh, and I didn't mention she has been constipated for three weeks, which is now figured out, and she has gotten four teeth in the last three weeks :)

And she is more than worth it. She is worth the end of myself (and my poor dear husband who gets up at 4:45 every morning). She is worth me being love-and the best, most holistic kind of love.

She is my agape.  

The Greeks had it right when they had four words for love. We seem to think one word can define me loving a french fry and me loving our daughter.  I think I side with the Greek language here.  

Agape is the most powerful.
  
It is the love that is selfless, unconditional and sacrificial.

It is Jesus. It is how we/I can be like him.

So thank you God for creating our perfect little girl-giving me a chance to have the slightest glimpse into how you could offer yourself as a sacrifice for all of mankind. 

She delights our souls.  She is a world-changer, I have that promise.  She will bring love to thousands and my death is worth it if she only brought your love to one.

Love Letter to the Ladies

Dear lovelies:

This is my love letter to all of you. I want and know in my heart that some of you need to hear part of my story.  It is not one of tragedy by any stretch but it is laced with choices that were not wise and were compounded with an insatiable desire to be known.

If you are woman, you know what I am talking about.

We all want to be known.  And sadly, nearly all of us at one point were/are willing to do just about anything to be known, if even being "known"is only for a few minutes, hours, days, etc.  I had that desire from the time I was about 17 to about 27-a decade of my life filled with my soul on the altar of being desired.

Some of my dearest friends know some of my stories.  I won't go into a ton of detail but let's just say there were many nights where I don't remember how I got to where I was, many mornings where I didn't know who I had hung out with the night before, YEARS of staring at my phone/computer waiting for one person or another to call/text/etc/acknowledge me, times of driving under the influence that I don't even remember, etc.

I was telling one of my amazing girlfriends some of these stories.  She has a crazy story and a ton of brokenness from her father and her life growing up.  We were talking about how I felt like I had a hedge of protection around me for all those years.  Because, the interesting thing about my story is: that I somehow remained a virgin until I was married (any of my friends who were with me during this period of time would say aside from the mighty hand of God that would've been impossible-I mean IMPOSSIBLE), never got arrested, never got pursued by the men that I wanted to be pursued by (until my husband), and literally made it through ten straining years somewhat unscathed.

This same girlfriend recently went through a crazy experience where someone she knew ended up taking their own life and all of this stuff came out after (laden with nothing good: I mean affairs, multiple partners within two marriages, affairs with men/women, etc). She could never figure out why this one particular guy would never really pursue her, especially physically. He pursued everyone else and seemed to always keep her at arms distance in a quite respectful way. And trust me, this friend of mine is drop-dead-gorgeous and she could literally get asked out ten times a day.

It was after she was telling me this whilst sitting on my couch that she with tears said, "I know now exactly what you were talking about when you said there was a hedge of protection around you. Could you have imagined my life if I would've gotten involved with him?"

So please-I write you because I don't want ANY of you to pine after someone/something that God did not intend for you.  It will destroy you in many instances and you will be left striving for your value not from your Maker but from another broken person.  You will forget, quite easily, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Satan tends to be an expert at telling lies regarding such.

Stop waiting for that boy to text or call.  Stop trying to get drunk just to get the nerves to act a little bit "looser" so maybe more boys will pay attention.  Stop saying to yourself, "if just this guy liked me."

I did all of this. This is from my heart.

And start living. Pick up a Bible and learn who Jesus is and why you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Volunteer.  A lot (one of the best seasons of my life).  Serve others.  Really start thinking about the purpose for this life and realize in that, who God made you to be and how much you are cherished.

And don't be me in the "lost" decade.  God had SO MUCH GRACE on me and not only did I get an amazing husband, I also got a beautiful daughter who's soul just delights anyone around her.  My heart also can now soar because, "she who has been forgiven much, loves much."  And because I know that grace was poured out on me, it helps me to realize the beauty of what can be and what often really is all around us.

So again, please don't use alcohol to lose yourself (because yourself is pretty awesome), please don't throw yourself at boys because I promise you...only ONE is worth your heart and I doubt it is the same one you will throw yourself at, and please, don't have a lost decade like I did.

I love you.  I really do.  And if you are local-I like coffee dates and hearing peoples' stories.  My schedule is just a little cray-cray these days :)

Love, Anna N

Oh, and here is a post from awhile ago on "waiting."

Convicting.

I recently saw a note from a little girl to her mother that she wrote hoping her mom would happen to read it.  It will break your heart.

It said: "Mom, in case you happen to read this. Please stop being angry.  Please tell dad why you are mad. Please do it for our family."

In her own little handwriting on her own little pink notebook.  

I know I can be like this sometimes. Wanting only my will and my way and it costing the spirit of my husband and my daughter.  I really dislike that part of myself.  With a passion. I am currently reading through Romans in my Bible and it speaks so much of the flesh and how its desires our purely selfish and not like Jesus at all.  Oh. Do. I. Know. That. Truth. 

Please fight for your families. Pick up a Bible and learn about Jesus and how to be more like Him.  He really is exceptionally counter-cultural and thus insanely breathtaking and captivating.  He is not only my Savior and the one who spoke redemption over my life but also the one who I know can help me to step away from myself and deeply desire to serve others.

Because people are worth it. They are worth us serving them and putting ourselves last. I so hope we can raise Ruth to let other people go in front of her at the grocery store, to be one to get out of her seat when an elderly person/pregnant lady/etc is around, to be one to open the doors, to be one to let others get in front of her on the freeway and then to kindly wave, to genuinely ask "How are you?"..., to bake cookies for others and learn to make meals simply to use it as an instrument to serve.  

We love you little dollie and I apologize if/when my heart is for me and not for our family and for your father and for our Jesus.  May you reflect your Maker and hopefully, more often than not, that will mean you reflect your momma. 

Love, Someone desperately in need of Grace

PS: In case you wonder where the pics of our little family are...

they are on instagram: sotrulylovely

The end of one's self

Do you know how hard it is to die to yourself?  Impossibly difficult.  I mean seriously.  I have a fresh perspective.  I now, through having a baby, realize who Jesus really is and what "death to self" actually means.  And it took all of me to realize it.

We think marriage does that.  Yes, there are hard days, but most of us dressed up in a gorgeous dress, got a pretty ring, and have a few disagreements and moments where we surrender even if we are right and choose the way together, not our own way (for the record, my husband is nearly always right, I learned this early).  But for the most part, you mainly get glimpses and not the full reality...until being a mom comes into the picture.  

If you don't know Him and are a mom, here is a quick connection you now have:  Jesus was God incarnate (meaning the last thing He ever needed to do was to become human, mortal and be beat up, abused, scoffed/mocked, spat upon, etc).  He chose to die for us because of the joy that was set before Him in being able to make us right with God (we are all sinners...well at least I haven't met a perfect person yet:)). And this is where the mom thing comes in:

It is the GREATEST thing in the world. But also the HARDEST.  Truly, in order to be great at it, you have to die to any desires you have and pour EVERYTHING into it. EVERYTHING.  I remember going through labor thinking, "This is the only thing in life I cannot quit."  If you have been through labor (and I was induced...icky), you know what I mean.  It is the worst pain in the world and there is no going back. At all. It's not like you can just say, "I will wait til' tomorrow, k?"

That's Jesus.  He knew the pain He would suffer but knew we were worth it.  WORTH everything. Worth life.

This is how I feel about my daughter.  She cried for two straight hours last night and I was beat.  On the floor crying actually because I had no idea what else to do.  So I started singing, worship music.  She fell asleep.

I died to myself, once again, and her beauty and rest arose from it. Just like what happens when we realize that Jesus alone is the one who died for us and loves us UNCONDITIONALLY. 

It was the end of Himself that led to the abundance we get to live.  And I pray I am the exact same for my daughter. Our daughter. Our beautiful promise of a little girl.  

Ruth Charlotte, you rock. And I promise to continually put you above myself.

I love you, baby girl.  And Jesus loves you more (it seems impossible but I know it to be true).

And to the darling girl in Georgia who emailed me, you blessed my heart beyond measure.  Oh how the God of the universe spoke to me through the encouragement of a 22 year old :)  

Love, Anna N

Obsession and truth

truth:

Things are so much better now.  I mean so much so to the point that I actually cannot seem to remember how awful they were (sleep deprivation is a form of torture as my wise mother pointed out) and now I am already excited to one day, Lord willing, have another wee one.

Mainly because I won't be gripped with fear, anxiety, a feeling of failure, etc.  All these emotions that I truly never experienced before until the first few weeks Ruthie was here.  

Praise Jesus they are all gone. I mean I still don't feel like the world's greatest mom and I will admit to being jealous of her smiling relentlessly at her little frog, aka: Prince Charming (pic below), but things are getting so much better and I actually believe God now when I hear Him say, "You were made for this."

obession:

And I am OBSESSED with her.  I mean those cheeks, those eyes, those expressions, those perfect hands that are getting little rolls at the wrists...I LOVE all of it.  The way she just looks at me when she's is eating-nothing in the world will ever feel like THIS.

I still can't believe God thought up marriage (Awesome) and then topped it off (kind of like adding brownies and snickers and berries to your yogurt..and granola for Erin:)) with babies.

Halle-lujah.

And the grandparents thing-I mean seriously, so THANKFUL for my amazing parents and them babysitting Ruthie twice in the last week (and my mother for staying the night well into Ruthie being six weeks...yep, that's right, six weeks).

She loves this mobile (it was daddy's)

She literally sits in her carseat and just talks and smiles at this little frog (Prince Charming). The cutest thing ever.

Mommy and daddy date night (we redid our first date). I wore the gorgeous Kate Spade necklace hubby got me for my birthday...and a new little frock from H&M.

My view sometimes. Oh. My. Goodness. Cuteness.

Our hottie friends celebrating Dan's birthday (he is the one looking too cool for school...yep, that one).

Off to get my hair "did" and then tonight one of our friends is having a Sader (Passover) meal. So awesome!  We get to hear the story of Jesus so many times this week!

Amen and again, halle-lujah.

xoxo, Anna

PPS: I am on instagram as sotrulylovely (I LOVE it)

What's in a name.

Ruth (Hebrew): friend

I saw a woman at church last night who had read Matt and I's story and she saw me carrying little Ruth and teared up...she said, "You had a Ruth!"  I then teared up because I remembered how faithful, once again, that God truly is.  Talk about a perfect Author to my life story.  

Here is our story in case you haven't read it yet-it still encourages me and reminds me that God's ways are about a million times greater than mine.  

Then I looked up the picture of Ruth that the story centered around and realized she has almost the exact smile our beautiful daughter has!  Pretty, ridiculously perfect.  

They both have smiles that light up their entire faces...

As is His way.

Sorry our Ruth is a little blurry-she gets really excited and won't stop moving :)


xoxo, Anna

Mercy Reigns.

"The problem with getting great things from God 
is being able to hold on in the last half hour."

Streams in the Desert-March 5th

I am pretty sure that our having a baby has made you all realize that I am quite honest and forthright with our life.  I have not been too quick to candy-coat how hard it has been and how strong I am not.  The song below is the one I walked down the aisle to and now I realize how true it is and how it is weaving its way through my life.  

God is good and He knows I was made for this.

I was made to be a mother.  And Lord willing, an amazing one.

And thank you, Jesus, for answering my cry last night for sleep.  Seriously, SO NEEDED.*  You hear me and You love me and I am humbled so much by the fact that you gave us our beautiful little girl (and gee, what can I even begin to say about my beautiful husband that you set apart for me?).  

*I will blog later about the sleep thing...

mercy reigns

by shane barnard

she hides her face, it seems too good
for Your embrace to find her
and say, "my dove, your voice is sweet
show me your form... your form is lovely"

Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls
and rises with the sun
Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mecy falls
and rises with the sun

It's new every morning
It's new every morning
It's good enough for me 

No ear has heard a melody
as sweet as yours for her
It seems too good, so undeserved
my heart faints now, for we are her

Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls
and rises with the sun
Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls
and rises with the sun

I will abide in Your love, Your love

Oh, and to celebrate Ruth and I (and my beautiful mom and husband) sleeping for more than 1.5 hours at a time, I bought this hat :) I LOVE kate spade things...love.

Ruth Charlotte Norman.

I can't even write this without tearing up so it will be short.

I have never been so in love with God, my husband and another human as I am now.

It was (and still kind of is) the hardest thing that I could have never even imagined and for some crazy beautiful reason, the makes the magnitude that much more significant.

Praise God for mothers who have answered calls at 2am and come over and helped with the incredible newness of all of this.

She is beautiful and we are beyond blessed and praise God that somehow (I have no idea) He dreamed up something as beautiful as birth and babies.

Birth story to come-still recovering from the quite insane nature of it all :)

Ruth Charlotte Norman

Born: February 8th, 2012

Time: 4:35pm

Weight: 7lbs 15 oz

Height: 20.5 inches

PS: You can follow us on Instagram (well mainly you can follow pictures of our lovely daughter): sotrulylovely

xoxo, Anna & Ruth (and a husband smitten by a little girl)

Friendship.

I will do a recap on the "party-life" we lead in the next few days but I just read something that touched me so much that I had to share.  One of the pastor's wives at our church writes a blog and today she posted on marriage and the necessity of friendship.

Please go here. :)

As you can tell, I am a HUGE (literally, 39 weeks preggo, pic below) fan of great marriages.  My husband and I last night were talking about how we feel so blessed to love being married and were pondering what we were called to do with this. After all, we are all blessed only to go out and be a blessing to others.

I always tell people that marriage is for friendship (this is also ALL over the Timothy Keller book we are reading, "The Meaning of Marriage).  I not only love my husband-immensely, I also really, really, really like my husband.

To be honest-for all of you single gals, this makes dating a lot easier.  If you are looking for a great friend, so much pressure is taken off.  God is often quite great and often throws in the fact that your "great friend" also happens to be ridiculously handsome and can make you laugh like no other :)

Please enjoy the article and here is a pic of the wee one with one week left...

Don't you wonder who is in there??? Ruth or Henry???

Oh, and here is my best friend/lover/husband/confidant/protector/etc.

xoxo, Anna N

Who he is.

This is the man I married. 

The man who will soon be the father of our baby, the man who I aspire to be more like everyday, the man who I cherish more than I thought humanly possible.  

God is so real and this man is living proof of who He can be in in our lives when we actually know the Maker (contrary to popular belief-I am not the one instructing this baby on how to grow:)).

My sister's photography rocks:  www.maewrightphotography.com

See video here.

Baby-boy do I love you.  You are so beautiful to me.  I love your muscles, too.

A beautiful life.

This is a little (but long) post about waiting, beautiful things, great people and amazing grace. 

Why am I posting about this now? 

Answer: I want our daughter (if this is a girl), to marry a man just like her father.  And if we have a son, I want our son to be just like my husband.  Entirely.

Beautiful. Life.


Dear Ladies in waiting:

This has so been on my heart recently.  You see, I had the most amazing life up to the point my husband and I started dating.  I always said I wanted to marry someone that changed my life for the better and gave me a reason to transition from so many amazing things.  

I had the time of my life (I also LOVE my life now) before Matt and I started dating in October of 2009.  I lived with the most amazing women, in the most beautiful home, went to an amazing church, traveled the world, and was truly content. I was romanced by God everyday and really, I have never had standards set or raised in such a way as those few precious years.  

I decided to start walking with God back in 2007. I know a lot of people knew me as a "Christian" before that but lets be honest, I didn't know God at all.  I was good at knowing all of the "religious" things but really had no relationship with Him.  I didn't realize how much He loved me, how much beauty He saw in me, what plans He held for my future, and how He knew my heart.  I was "religious," like probably 90% of America.  But, as this nation has proven, "religion" does nothing for you other than give you a box to check off and a few specific cards to buy at certain times of the year.  There was something much more that God wanted me to know.

Coming to know who Jesus really was, that He is our saviour and one who shows us grace and truth and above all else, forgiveness, radically rocked my world.  My girlfriends thought my standards were high before and then I decided to actually accept Jesus into my life...that is when they skyrocketed.  My friends often ask why I am the only woman who tells them to raise their standards when everyone else tells them to lower them-it is because I have experienced what the Maker of my heart can do when I pray for big things and because of that, how could I ever want anything less for each one of you??? (If you have ever read this blog before, you know how MADLY IN LOVE I am with my husband...and my standards were through the roof for this one).

So here is my wisdom for you:  

1. Find out who God is.  He made you, He knows you, and there is nothing more beautiful in this world than BEING KNOWN. (you can ask me any questions about this) 

2. Get amazing girlfriends. I mean legit, solid, "I want to be like you" girlfriends.  

3. Live with these girls. 


4. Volunteer. No better time to serve others than now. It changed my life dramatically.

5. Seek God for your husband-not the bars, classes, etc. (I tried that: it cost me a lot of money and dignity).  

6. Find a man that you respect more every moment you spend with him.  Men become who you say and feel they are.  Date men that want to be greater men (and men that answer to God, not to man)

7. Don't live with a man, or sleep with him, before you stand before God and your witnesses and vow to love each other and say "NO MATTER WHAT".   I know people think that helps with the chance of not getting a divorce but stats still show that more people get divorced who live together first than people who don't.  This life is about faith and it is high time someone believed that you were the person that they would wait for the skies to fall for.  Sex is awesome-let it be captivated in marriage with your hot husband who said, "I promise to love you no matter what."  

I love knowing that my husband is the only one who has ever fully had all of me (I was 29 when we got married).

I know these are "old-fashioned" but I promise you, it is the loveliest "fashioning" I have ever experienced.

I hope this encourages all of you. I know many don't agree but I say this out of a girl who's heart has experienced real love and who's heart has experienced "something else."  Great love is all encompassing, passionate, sacrificial, all-knowing, "rock my world," sort of love.  


I want our daughters, if we have them, to believe this wholeheartedly. That they are worth it.

Please wait for it and let God romance you and set seemingly impossible standards.  ALL of my "impossibles" came true.  

"With God, all things are possible."  

Amen, sisters.

PS: My hot husband just did this:

And he even made me buy OPI :) If you know me well, you know I don't own one bottle of nail polish (literally, none) and had to go out and buy nail polish remover.  He thought I needed red nails for Christmas and wanted to help me.

Babe- I somehow love you more today than I did yesterday.  Thank you for loving me better than I thought humanly possible.  I love you smuch.

xoxo, Anna N

Fathers.

Last night my husband made me tear up as he just laid his head on my belly, kissed it, leaned his head back on it, and just rested there.  It moved me so deeply.  In fact, tears are in my eyes as I write this.

Our child will have the most amazing father. I know I am biased, but my husband is the most solid man I have ever met and one who lives by God's word and loves through it as well (which makes me insanely blessed...).  

The topic of the "fatherless" has been huge on my heart for awhile now.  Partly due to the wee one on the way and partly because I meet with/or know quite a few girls who are fatherless either from abuse/death/neglect/divorce/etc and just talking to them makes me realize the weight of the call to be a father.  Children desperately need their dads.  Just for proof, here are a few statistics regarding the fatherless:

· 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census).
· 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
· 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
(Source: Center for Disease Control).
· 80% of rapist motivated by displaced anger come from fatherless homes. (Source:
Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, pp. 403-26).
· 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (Source: National Principals Assoc. Report on the State of High Schools).
· 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. (Source: Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. Of Corrections, 1992).
These statistics translate to mean that children from fatherless homes are:
· 5 times more likely to commit suicide
· 32 times more likely to run away
· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
· 14 times more likely to commit rape
· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
· 20 times more likely to end up in prison

I went and saw the movie "Courageous" two weeks ago with my sis, my little sis (through big bros/sis) and her sister.  I was so moved by this group of men who made a vow to be men, different from the world, and to step up and love their wives and children as Christ loves us.

It has made me pray for men, for fathers, for men who will be fathers, for those without fathers, for hope for those who lost their dads (in one of many ways) and who were able to step past that and know God's love and the Father he is.  

My dad is a beautiful example of this having grown up in a home with a less than great father who passed away when he was 14 (and sadly there were few who were sad about this).  My father stepped past that and because of God's love he honestly became the most loving, gentle, tender, man my sister and I could have ever asked for as a father (just watch sometime how little kids run up to him without even knowing him!).    

I hope this encourages all of you to pray for men and for those who are fathers.  Also to pray for those who have been damaged by the "fatherless" state of our nation. 

xoxo, Anna N