If you really knew me...

I saw this on this blog today and thought what a fun little ditty to do whilst my wee one takes her power nap :)

We were this happy coming home from Bali to have Starbucks again :)

If you really knew me, you would know:


-I love (LOVE) mocha frappucinos: double blended, affogado shot on top, no whip


-that I invited "my" entire Starbucks to our wedding


-I LOVE my Uggs and tend to like winter more than summer


-why our little girl is named Ruth


-I feel called to be an encourager and one who speaks truth


-I rarely finish books and I rarely read anything other than non-fiction


-we don't have a TV and don't really ever want one


-I love Anne of Green Gables and cried when I found out it wasn't true


-I LOVE Disneyland.  Obsessed. 


-I cry over seeing people with disabilities as well as hearing someones' story about being fatherless


-I really didn't like the birth process. Sorry-not to pop any happy balloons but it wasn't all peaches and cream (and they don't let you eat-could someone please put that very important bit of info on a billboard?!?!?). And I was induced-yuck. I believe it will be different next time. Again: no food.


-I wasn't dying to get married or have kids (needed the right person before it made sense to even desire it)


-my walk with God is not perfect and sometimes it down right lacks faith and obedience


-my desire is to know God and be ALWAYS captivated by His beauty, not my own definition (Or InStyles, Glamour, etc.)


-I cry a lot when I don't sleep much (recent discovery)


-my friends are my comfort zone.  Truly-my heart goes to complete peace when my besties and sister are around


-I have the most amazing parents in the world. And the most amazing in-laws.


-my husband has seven tattoos (and my grandpa Earl told me never to marry a man with tattoos :) He had quite a few and said men like him were trouble)


-my dream place to live is out in the country with sprawling lawns and a view of the sunset


-I love making cookies for people


-I am obsessed with clouds, spinning in circles, and the teacups at Disneyland


-I love spinning in circles and I love clouds that do something


-I never thought I would have a daughter.


-I love Red Robin french fries. LOVE.


-I am not a health nut (hence the frappucinos)


-my husband is way too good for me (in all the best ways)


There you have it.  And yes, if you just say "Anna's drink" at my Starbucks, they will make it for you, too!  They even gave me mine for free today because our little girl is captivating peoples' hearts by the dozens... Good girl.  Good, good girl.


Now if we could just get her to ever sleep. Hmmm.


Love, Anna N

Marriage. Dos anos.

So I am going to write a letter to my husband here. 1) Because I want it to be kept as long as possible. 2) Because I want people to know the beauty that marriage is with a good man.  And that it is humbling.  Good things should always be humbling.

Baby cakes,

I adore you.  I don't know how I ever got so lucky or so blessed.  I really don't.  

I am not worthy of you in any way.  I know you and others might think differently but I know my heart and I know yours and yours is far greater than mine.  But that is why I married you. I want to be more like you. I want to be able to say no to my flesh and yes to Jesus in moments where my will is brought to the table. You are able to do that. You are able to just hug me whenever I am the one who is wrong. You aren't worried about winning with me and you truly treat me as though just being married to me is winning.  

You love our little girl. No wonder she lights up every time you walk in the room. She knows "good."  She knows her daddy.  When I think of how fatherless this world is it brings me to tears to think that our little girl will never know that.  It breaks my heart to think of all of those that are when I see who my dad is and now who you are to Ruth.  I am blessed.  Beyond measure.

And your work ethic.  You NEVER complain. Ever.  I mean except to usher in a back massage :) And you work your tail off.  I love you so much for that.

And your wisdom. I have never seen someone who is able to speak pure wisdom over anyone. I mean I can talk to you about something going on in someone's life you do not know and you literally give the most spot on wisdom. Every time. I have given up on ever trying to 'be right" with you because I have realized I am right by just being married to you.  

You were worth waiting a thousand years for.  (Did you like my Twilight song plug?)  But really, you were.  I am thankful God only had me wait for 29.  

You refresh my soul and lift my hands when I am weak.  You are my biggest fan and I yours.  I want all men to be like you.  And I can't say that about anyone other than you and my dad.

I can't wait to keep learning you.  You delight my soul, protect my heart and cherish my every breath.

And you like Disneyland as much as I do. And road trips.  You don't like ice cream still but you let me eat it whenever and even take me on dates to get it. And you are a mad cook. And cleaner. And house builder/reconstructor/etc. 

I love you.

Even more.

Your wife.

Goats.

Tonight: our rental property gets goats. Yep. That's right.  One of our good friends has three goats that need a place to live and we so happen to have a yard FULL of 8+ foot tall weeds.  And turns out that God made goats to eat any plants (except for laurels and rhodies) and turns out we have a landscaping venture (we gutted and redid the whole yard last year and didn't maintain it) gone horribly wrong.

And here is my handsome husband with the little guys.  As well as my lame-ooo picture that I had to screen capture from Instagram...wow.  And I thought buying a pro camera would help my photo skillz.  Or not.

Love, Anna N

*And yes, I never charge my phone. I feel like that "14%" could give some people a slight panic attack.  I like to live on the edge of battery life :)

*Oh, and baby girl got her first tooth today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*And she reaches for me now.  Totally. Smitten. Forever.

*And...tomorrow is our two year anniversary :)

The end of one's self

Do you know how hard it is to die to yourself?  Impossibly difficult.  I mean seriously.  I have a fresh perspective.  I now, through having a baby, realize who Jesus really is and what "death to self" actually means.  And it took all of me to realize it.

We think marriage does that.  Yes, there are hard days, but most of us dressed up in a gorgeous dress, got a pretty ring, and have a few disagreements and moments where we surrender even if we are right and choose the way together, not our own way (for the record, my husband is nearly always right, I learned this early).  But for the most part, you mainly get glimpses and not the full reality...until being a mom comes into the picture.  

If you don't know Him and are a mom, here is a quick connection you now have:  Jesus was God incarnate (meaning the last thing He ever needed to do was to become human, mortal and be beat up, abused, scoffed/mocked, spat upon, etc).  He chose to die for us because of the joy that was set before Him in being able to make us right with God (we are all sinners...well at least I haven't met a perfect person yet:)). And this is where the mom thing comes in:

It is the GREATEST thing in the world. But also the HARDEST.  Truly, in order to be great at it, you have to die to any desires you have and pour EVERYTHING into it. EVERYTHING.  I remember going through labor thinking, "This is the only thing in life I cannot quit."  If you have been through labor (and I was induced...icky), you know what I mean.  It is the worst pain in the world and there is no going back. At all. It's not like you can just say, "I will wait til' tomorrow, k?"

That's Jesus.  He knew the pain He would suffer but knew we were worth it.  WORTH everything. Worth life.

This is how I feel about my daughter.  She cried for two straight hours last night and I was beat.  On the floor crying actually because I had no idea what else to do.  So I started singing, worship music.  She fell asleep.

I died to myself, once again, and her beauty and rest arose from it. Just like what happens when we realize that Jesus alone is the one who died for us and loves us UNCONDITIONALLY. 

It was the end of Himself that led to the abundance we get to live.  And I pray I am the exact same for my daughter. Our daughter. Our beautiful promise of a little girl.  

Ruth Charlotte, you rock. And I promise to continually put you above myself.

I love you, baby girl.  And Jesus loves you more (it seems impossible but I know it to be true).

And to the darling girl in Georgia who emailed me, you blessed my heart beyond measure.  Oh how the God of the universe spoke to me through the encouragement of a 22 year old :)  

Love, Anna N

New life

I must admit I have had a very hard time adjusting to this new role and maintaining those I was already in. I miss the wife I was before Ruth came along. It's like I have no idea how to do both; I know Ruth has been a less than easy baby (she is a pure delight just nearly always throws a fit to go to sleep...it just took 1.5 hours to put her down for a nap).  She is suuuuuper social and thus anything that doesn't involve a lot of activity tends to register on her "not-so-cool" list.  She is all smiles, has the most beautiful blue eyes, and makes me feel like a million dollars just to hold her.

I need prayers. Prayers to do this great, not just well. I want to love the man I married fully and right now I know he just gets the leftovers that come from lack of sleep, not eating "breakfast" until 2pm, and trying to sift through other peoples' wisdom and not feel defeated.

Thanks for listening.  Or reading I should say. I love our daughter and my husband with all of my heart and am just trying to figure out how to love them with excellence and my first fruits and not just the remnants.

It's a beautiful life. I desperately want to live and love well.

Handsome and Me

My silly hubby. 

I know. Like could she be any cuter??? 

xoxo, Anna N

So glad you are here.

Did you ever realize that those words can change peoples' lives?  I was just thinking this last night at church.  How just telling someone that you want them there and that they are right where they are supposed to be can actually change their life.

I know so many people that are going through awful things. Things I could never imagine.  And I need to be sure that whenever I see them that I make sure they know that I love just being around them and getting to love them is my honor.  Tell them it is a joy that God has brought them right there.  At that moment. That even if life sucks, for that instance, they are wanted and loved and needed and desired and cared for.

There is my soap box for the day.

Fourth of July...she just took a whole handful of salad from Matt's plate. And JM is running to get his camera

Mommy and Daddy date night. 

 I finally got a real pic with baby girl and I. That smile...

Grandma Wright...gammy. And yes, she does cry (whenever you try to put her to sleep and that is the only time. Social butterfly).

Grandpa Wright :)

Our little baby doll

Just a few pics of the precious little one that we get to love on 24 hours a day (literally...she still isn't much of a sleeper).

You are pure joy, daughter.