I must admit I have had a very hard time adjusting to this new role and maintaining those I was already in. I miss the wife I was before Ruth came along. It's like I have no idea how to do both; I know Ruth has been a less than easy baby (she is a pure delight just nearly always throws a fit to go to sleep...it just took 1.5 hours to put her down for a nap). She is suuuuuper social and thus anything that doesn't involve a lot of activity tends to register on her "not-so-cool" list. She is all smiles, has the most beautiful blue eyes, and makes me feel like a million dollars just to hold her.
I need prayers. Prayers to do this great, not just well. I want to love the man I married fully and right now I know he just gets the leftovers that come from lack of sleep, not eating "breakfast" until 2pm, and trying to sift through other peoples' wisdom and not feel defeated.
Thanks for listening. Or reading I should say. I love our daughter and my husband with all of my heart and am just trying to figure out how to love them with excellence and my first fruits and not just the remnants.
It's a beautiful life. I desperately want to live and love well.
Handsome and Me
My silly hubby.
I know. Like could she be any cuter???
xoxo, Anna N
Oh Anna, you seriously rock so hard girl! Whenever I read one of your posts I just walk away wanting to love my husband better... like you love your husband. I know what you mean though, and I fear that will happen to me too once Greyer comes along, but I think that every different season comes with a different way of loving. And right now you show Matt love by mothering his child... getting up with her in the night, and dealing with her crankiness before naps. I'm sure that means more to him than you know and even though it's not your ideal way of showing love, know that you are doing an EXCELLENT job! I so admire you and appreciate your wisdom!
ReplyDeleteYOU my dear are so, so beautiful. I love your honesty and asking for prayers. I am praying for you today:)
ReplyDeleteoh mama! I know this ALL TOO WELL... lets get together SOON & chat!
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayers lovely friend! And with God all things ate possible right?!!! So just wait, soon soon soon you'll be a professional baby and Daddy lover ;)
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayers lovely friend! And with God all things ate possible right?!!! So just wait, soon soon soon you'll be a professional baby and Daddy lover ;)
ReplyDeleteIt gets better. I have no wisdom because I know just how you feel as Evy was not the easiest baby either, but it does get better. God gives us so much grace through these times. You will soon feel yourself again, but in a new way. You're an amazing mama and wife and have an amazing husband who loves you always :)
ReplyDeleteAnna- I am going to need all this knowledge you are gathering, learning and sorting through! Thank you for your honesty, it helps me prepare for my travels!
ReplyDeletepraying for you Anna. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAnna- your transparency is so refreshing. I am inspired with how you share your life in such an open way- thank you for always being genuine & honest. I, too am encouraged by all these sweet responses. You have such nice friends!!
ReplyDeletegirl. thank you for being real and honest. i feel like a lot of people already commented and said what i was going to say...you WILL adjust. it will get easier. and life with a baby is just crazy. i feel like i'm failing in all sorts of areas right now! give yourself some grace. around the year mark you'll start to feel like yourself again. :) i'm sure you have lots of friends that you talk to about stuff but email me if you ever have any questions! xoxo.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog Anna! I just finally read it after months of not reading it. This is only because of the craziness of my life as well. Being a mom is the best yet hardest job there is. I am eight years into it and still feel like a failure in so many ways on a daily basis. And then the art of making your husband feel like he comes first after being exhausted and drained at the end of the day. It really isn't easy. But I wouldn't change it for a thing! And I know you feel the same way. I promise it gets easier and there will be seasons of more rest. Ella was by far my hardest baby. She hardly slept at all and gave me a run for my money as a first time mother. Then Avery came along and she was the best sleeper ever! Sleeping through the night after two weeks. Your next one will probably be a great sleeper! But seriously Ruth is so so adorable and she will probably be a high energy kid that loves life! This is my Ella! She still doesn't like to go to bed! You are doing a great job and I can tell you are an amazing mother and wife! I love your words and your blog. Keep it up! You have so much to offer so many! xo
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to juggle being a wife and a mommy. And sadly, it gets even more difficult the more kids you have. I was telling Todd the other day how much it breaks my heart because try as I might I just don't have much time for him. But it's a temporary struggle. In just a few short years these kids will be less dependent on us and then they will leave our homes and we will have an abundance of time for our marriages.
ReplyDelete