Love Letter to the Ladies

Dear lovelies:

This is my love letter to all of you. I want and know in my heart that some of you need to hear part of my story.  It is not one of tragedy by any stretch but it is laced with choices that were not wise and were compounded with an insatiable desire to be known.

If you are woman, you know what I am talking about.

We all want to be known.  And sadly, nearly all of us at one point were/are willing to do just about anything to be known, if even being "known"is only for a few minutes, hours, days, etc.  I had that desire from the time I was about 17 to about 27-a decade of my life filled with my soul on the altar of being desired.

Some of my dearest friends know some of my stories.  I won't go into a ton of detail but let's just say there were many nights where I don't remember how I got to where I was, many mornings where I didn't know who I had hung out with the night before, YEARS of staring at my phone/computer waiting for one person or another to call/text/etc/acknowledge me, times of driving under the influence that I don't even remember, etc.

I was telling one of my amazing girlfriends some of these stories.  She has a crazy story and a ton of brokenness from her father and her life growing up.  We were talking about how I felt like I had a hedge of protection around me for all those years.  Because, the interesting thing about my story is: that I somehow remained a virgin until I was married (any of my friends who were with me during this period of time would say aside from the mighty hand of God that would've been impossible-I mean IMPOSSIBLE), never got arrested, never got pursued by the men that I wanted to be pursued by (until my husband), and literally made it through ten straining years somewhat unscathed.

This same girlfriend recently went through a crazy experience where someone she knew ended up taking their own life and all of this stuff came out after (laden with nothing good: I mean affairs, multiple partners within two marriages, affairs with men/women, etc). She could never figure out why this one particular guy would never really pursue her, especially physically. He pursued everyone else and seemed to always keep her at arms distance in a quite respectful way. And trust me, this friend of mine is drop-dead-gorgeous and she could literally get asked out ten times a day.

It was after she was telling me this whilst sitting on my couch that she with tears said, "I know now exactly what you were talking about when you said there was a hedge of protection around you. Could you have imagined my life if I would've gotten involved with him?"

So please-I write you because I don't want ANY of you to pine after someone/something that God did not intend for you.  It will destroy you in many instances and you will be left striving for your value not from your Maker but from another broken person.  You will forget, quite easily, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Satan tends to be an expert at telling lies regarding such.

Stop waiting for that boy to text or call.  Stop trying to get drunk just to get the nerves to act a little bit "looser" so maybe more boys will pay attention.  Stop saying to yourself, "if just this guy liked me."

I did all of this. This is from my heart.

And start living. Pick up a Bible and learn who Jesus is and why you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Volunteer.  A lot (one of the best seasons of my life).  Serve others.  Really start thinking about the purpose for this life and realize in that, who God made you to be and how much you are cherished.

And don't be me in the "lost" decade.  God had SO MUCH GRACE on me and not only did I get an amazing husband, I also got a beautiful daughter who's soul just delights anyone around her.  My heart also can now soar because, "she who has been forgiven much, loves much."  And because I know that grace was poured out on me, it helps me to realize the beauty of what can be and what often really is all around us.

So again, please don't use alcohol to lose yourself (because yourself is pretty awesome), please don't throw yourself at boys because I promise you...only ONE is worth your heart and I doubt it is the same one you will throw yourself at, and please, don't have a lost decade like I did.

I love you.  I really do.  And if you are local-I like coffee dates and hearing peoples' stories.  My schedule is just a little cray-cray these days :)

Love, Anna N

Oh, and here is a post from awhile ago on "waiting."

Encouragement.

Sorry I am not a blogger.  I honestly go through a quandary about five times a week regarding the internet and how "forward" our society is moving regarding technology being the epicenter for what might be called relationships.  I have this blog mainly to encourage and document our family and what life for us is made up of.

I have received some of the most encouraging emails and I will reply once I get more than this ten minutes at the computer. See, our little girl still doesn't like to sleep and takes a max of 45 minute naps which I pray is changing.  The blog world is hard for me because I believe that with all of my heart we are supposed to be sitting at coffee with people, reading books next to one another, serving together, talking face to face, and living life not on our IPhones, IPads, IMacs, I-this, I-that, Internet, Instagram, etc.  I have a very hard time with conversations over email because I would so much rather talk to people face to face because it is a million times stronger and more personal than this "other" land.

I plan on doing an I-fast just to see what can be done when there are no distractions from a life I can really live. I get soooo easily distracted and sooo don't want my daughter to think of my Iphone as an appendage to my body :)  

Nonetheless, I will continue to share what's on my heart, whether it be the easy stuff or the really good/hard stuff.  Here are some pics from our trip to Hawaii this last week and a word of warning for you mommas, don't take your baby out of your time zone. Travel only north or south.  Trust me.

We also just got back from a lovely weekend at the coast with Matt's amazing family.  They are fantastic and hopefully pics to come soon.

Love, Anna

Happiest baby on the block. 

Our awesome traveling duo. 

Delights my soul

An absolutely fantastic Hawaiian wedding complete with fresh sushi, Hawaiian bbq, photo booth, etc

We are so blessed. Abundantly.

Ruth's first polo match. Conveniently next door to our cottage.

Well...maybe not a huge fan of the ocean.

One of my fave pics ever.

What you get to see when your little doll is on a time change.

Her first time being in Hawaiian sand-time: 5:30am

Boy does she love Tammy. It is the cutest.

A million things. And Memorial Getaway

I have a million things (I have said a million times I don't exaggerate :)) that I want to post about.  Everything from marriage, to the two months after Ruth was born, to the birth story, to redemption, to the buyer's remorse I often suffer from, to house projects, etc.

I think I have too many things.  And thus, I end up starting about a million drafts and then never posting them.

So in the mean time, until I get a handle on what I feel people out there really need to read/see/hear, here are some pics from our recent activities.

PS: Any suggestions on external harddrives?  I am thinking we are going to go for a desktop versus a portable one but not sure.  Thoughts?

Just the little home Miss CC Banister won for the weekend.

The gents entertaining our wee one. 

Hottie Carla and BF Nate

Hottie Carla and Hottie Courtney-they love to match

The ladies: we were celebrating Micah's Birthday! (She has Ruthie)

Boys will be boys.  And these ones are way too much fun. 

The ultimate picture of this weekend. 

I feel like we always look a little tired now... 

Lisa and Carlita 

Auntie Meggie's gorgeous hair. We are so blessed by her...

Our little family :) 

Some of the ladies from the weekend (there were 8 of us at one point)

Most of the gents.

She likes to eat this little lion. Well she just likes to chew on anything...her clothes, hair, arms, etc. 

Thoughts on what to post about?

Friendship.

I will do a recap on the "party-life" we lead in the next few days but I just read something that touched me so much that I had to share.  One of the pastor's wives at our church writes a blog and today she posted on marriage and the necessity of friendship.

Please go here. :)

As you can tell, I am a HUGE (literally, 39 weeks preggo, pic below) fan of great marriages.  My husband and I last night were talking about how we feel so blessed to love being married and were pondering what we were called to do with this. After all, we are all blessed only to go out and be a blessing to others.

I always tell people that marriage is for friendship (this is also ALL over the Timothy Keller book we are reading, "The Meaning of Marriage).  I not only love my husband-immensely, I also really, really, really like my husband.

To be honest-for all of you single gals, this makes dating a lot easier.  If you are looking for a great friend, so much pressure is taken off.  God is often quite great and often throws in the fact that your "great friend" also happens to be ridiculously handsome and can make you laugh like no other :)

Please enjoy the article and here is a pic of the wee one with one week left...

Don't you wonder who is in there??? Ruth or Henry???

Oh, and here is my best friend/lover/husband/confidant/protector/etc.

xoxo, Anna N

Weekends, sausages, meaningful Mondays

We had such an amazing last weekend/week!  The part about the feet is that after four Christmas parties, a baby shower, a concert and a birthday party, and a haircut for the hubby, my feet started to head the direction of sausages (thank you husband for a great foot massage to try to bring them back).  So attractive.

Husband won over $200 at his Christmas party! Ironically (we are such gamblers), he got 2nd place in the casino night and "shockingly" the other two guys at our blackjack table won 1st and 4th...thank you, Bill!!!  As my husband said, "the only gamble of the night was picking the right table to sit at."  So smart, babe. I had no idea you had such talent at blackjack and were such a risk-taker!

The rest of the weekend was made even more beautiful by church, a beautiful baby shower, an amazing Christmas concert, and topping off Sunday watching Cars 2 while eating Oreos and mint chocolate chip ice cream (feet almost up). 

These pics are from the Christmas Ball on Friday at Heather and Jimmy's!  She surprised him with...a trip leaving that next morning to see the Broncos play the Patriots AND they got to sit in Tebow's box AND meet him! Jimmy is a huge fan of him because he lives out his faith and is seriously such a solid guy.  Jimmy's dad even teared up with joy because he was so happy for his son :) I told her she won wife of the decade for this one...

Sorry for the picture overload-it is just what we do (and this is only one event).

For Meaningful Monday please be sure to check out my beautiful friend's blog for items to purchase that support awesome causes this time of year. Matt and I do advent conspiracy with his family and thus we purchase gifts for each other that go to support orphanages, buy food for families, gift bags for foster kids, etc.  Such a great tradition they started!

Yes, that is a hanging couch.

She surprised him with a poem complete with gifts and "the knee."

It is Heather's 30th on January 4th but they are in Turks for 10 days so we stocked her up with "tropical" items!

The Bachelorette Pad again :)

Yes, my husband has on my necklace.  I seriously couldn't stop laughing...and then he unbuttoned his shirt.  I love you so much-I think our baby was even laughing at this point.

xoxo, Anna N

(I just realized I never even had a tag for pregnancy...I guess that means it has been a great one up until the feet!)

Meaningful Mondays.

I thought I should start having themes (I do much better with specific things to write about) and thus, while finishing a book this afternoon, realized the start to my week needs to "meaningful."  

Today is about forgiveness and the unsurpassed beauty of grace.  I just finished reading Philip Yancey's book, "What Good is God," and was touched my a story he wrote about.  This story comes out of South Africa after the apartheid and transformation with Nelson Mandela regarding the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC).

"A policeman named van de Broek recounted an incident when he and other officers shot an 18 year old boy and burned the body, turning it on the fire like a piece of barbecue meat in order to destroy the evidence.  Eight years later van de Broek returned to the same house and seized the boy's father.  The wife was forced to watch as policeman bound her husband on a woodpile, poured gasoline over his body, and ignited it.

The courtroom grew hushed as the elderly woman who had lost first her son and then her husband was given a change to respond. "What do you want from Mr. van de Broek?" the judge asked.  She said she wanted van de Broek to go to the place where they burned her husband's body and gather up the dust so she could give him a decent burial. His head down, the policeman nodded in agreement.

Then she added a further request, "Mr. van de Broek took all my family away from me, and I still have a lot of love to give.  Twice a month, I would like for him to come to the ghetto and spend a day with me so I can be a mother to him. And I would like Mr. van de Broek to know that he is forgiven by God, and that I forgive him, too.  I would like to embrace him so he can know my forgiveness is real."

Some in the courtroom spontaneously began singing "Amazing Grace" as the elderly woman made her way to the witness stand, but van de Broek did not hear the hymn. He had fainted, physically overwhelmed by grace."

"What Good is God" Page 280-281

May you know what grace and forgiveness mean and thus, what the real meaning to this season is (the gifts are a bonus).

PS: Have you read the following book yet?  PLEASE DO!

xoxo, Anna N